I’ve been wanting to sit down with Tony Romo and give him a full-fledged interview now that he is comfortably positioned into the seat of franchise quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys. Unfortunately, T-Ro won’t return my calls. He even sent a strong man over with what he called a “restraining order” to keep me away.

Fortunately, after Tony leaves for work in the morning (if you want to call throwing a football around “work”), then his house is no longer within the 250 feet I’m supposed to stay away from.

Wanting to find out more about the guy who is responsible for Romo-mania, I snuck into his house and uncovered a piece of paper containing Tony Romo’s Thanksgiving list.

So, without further ado, Tony Romo’s Thanksgiving list:

1. Thank you Drew Bledsoe. If it weren’t for the fact that you couldn’t beat a statue in a race, I might never have had a chance to go out with Carrie Underwood.

2. Thank you Vinnie Testeverde. If you weren’t 90 years old, I might still be on the bench.

3. Thank you Drew Henson. It seems you play football even worse than you play baseball.

4. Thank you Quincy Carter. I hope you enjoy the bag of coke I sent you.

5. Thank you Chad Hutchinson. I still remember watching you play guitar on Hard Knocks: Training Camp with the Dallas Cowboys. I hope you aren’t counting on that as a career now that football didn’t work out for you.

6. And thank you Clint Stoerner. I took your job before I took Drew’s, and while it was just a job holding a clipboard, I still think fondly of it.